You know you're a hurricane evacuee if...

• Your only bank deposits are marked "FEMA."
• You have lived in 3 different cities in the last month.
• You can distinguish between flood and wind damage.
• Your ear has stayed hot from your cell phone use.
• Your day is spent on hold or talking to recordings.
• You have been on vacation for 1 month and have not seen or done a damn thing.
• You respond "None" to the blanks for address, phone, or occupation on questionnaires.
• Your friends now live across the United States, and you know where each resides.
• You hug anyone who hails from New Orleans, including strangers.
• You can quote the water levels of Lakeview, Lakewood South, Uptown, 9th Ward and Metairie.
• You no longer pay Entergy, Bellsouth, Cox Cable or other home-related bills.
• Your clothes all smell like Grandma's attic.
• You look for mold before using any of your possessions.
• Your email list has quadrupled in size.
• You know the rates of U-Haul and storage facilities across the South.
• You have spent hours bumper to bumper in traffic to go nowhere.
• You have gained an uncanny knowledge of government assistance programs from Red Cross to unemployment.
• Your social conversations center on the details of demolition, mold removal, and roof repair.
• You have worn the same Old Navy t-shirt for three weeks.
• You now have your hair color formula in your address book.
• You have 3 to 7 people living in an apartment smaller than the one you rented when you first married.
• Your patience is thin.
• You have cussed out anyone who does not respond to your requests.
• You are tired of hearing about the problems in the Superdome and Convention Center - you have your own problems.
• You alternate between feeling like screaming, crying, laughing uncontrollably, and jumping from the 10th floor of your Red Cross donated hotel room.
• You can no longer make logical decisions since nothing seems logical anymore.
• You realize what a great life you had with a crew of great friends.
• You realize how comfortable you were.
• And you just want to be comfortable again.