Thursday, January 26, 2006

My plan for Louisiana

Parishioners of Antioch Spiritual Church on Flood Street in the Lower Ninth Ward move soggy, moldy pews to a garbage pile in the street.

The doors to the church were opened for the first time since Hurricane Katrina, revealing a soggy muddy mess over four months after floods devastated New Orleans.

Maybe if Preznit Bush wasn't AWOL from New Orleans for so long; maybe if he hadn't just cruised St. Charles Avenue in the presidential motorcade the last time he was in New Orleans; maybe if he actually got some mud on his shoes and clothes from tromping around in the sewage-laced muck like these guys did to clean out their church; maybe if he just weren't so friggin' cocky; maybe then he'd realize that the problems in New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Coast are beyond the pale, beyond comprehension, and involve issues that are impacting the well-being of hundreds of thousands of American citizens. Maybe if he actually spent some time here for more than "goddamn press conferences", well, maybe then he'd finally get it -- that he can't just hang back and expect solutions to fall in his lap. He needs to be pro-active.

After he shot down the Baker bill, for example, which would have compensated owners for at least 60 percent of the value of their homes, well, then isn't the ball in his court? (For the record, I think homeowners deserve more than what Baker was offering). Shouldn't Bush have to offer a legitimate alternative? Instead, he sent his waterboy Donald Powell to say that the feds would help the 20,000 people whose homes flooded in areas that weren't in designated flood zones. Hey fuckers! That still leaves about 300,000 people hanging in the balance! I'm not even counting the 1.5 million people across the entire Gulf Coast who were impacted by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita all the way from Lafayette, Louisiana to Mobile, Alabama.

Aren't that many American citizens more important than Iraq? Elections in the Palestinian territories? Counterfeiting in North Korea? The White House is developing plans to deal with those problems? Why can't President Bush get his fucking ass down here to New Orleans for more than a couple of hours every few months -- not for photos -- but TO HELP!!! Instead he's waiting for a nation with a short pop-culture attention span to forget about the ongoing misery (nine out of ten hits I'm getting lately are from people just looking for chocolate city T-shirts).

Which reminds me of what Hurricane Czar Donald Powell's mission really is -- it appears that President Bush appointed a former FDIC official not to cooperate in creating a bold vision for New Orleans' resurrection, but instead to pinch pennies and to crush the hope of hundreds of thousands of citizens.

Hey you fuckers! Let me tell you something. We don't need to beg to you monkeyshit-for-brains chickenhawks to give us a goddamn thing. We already produce at least a quarter of the nation's domestic oil, at least a quarter of the nation's seafood, and almost all of the grain and other merchandise destined for export from the Midwest travels through the Port of New Orleans.

So we don't need a handout. We'll just take the plan you had for financing your blockheaded invasion of Iraq -- remember how you said it would pay for itself with Iraqi oil revenues? We'll pay our own way. Just give us the $5-8 billion in annual off-shore revenues, 100 percent of which, to date, you've been spending in Washington. Then we'll keep all of the federal taxes we pay, we'll tax the Midwest for their exports and imports, and we'll tax the seafood the rest of the nation consumes.

We'll build Category 5 storm protection. We'll restore the coasts. We'll help everyone return and rebuild their homes. And we'll make New Orleans the city of the 21st Century that will be even more the envy of the rest of the country than it was before Hurricane Katrina.

So hey you fucker Bush -- why don't you just go get yourself a blow job so we can impeach your cheap monkey ass! Like your Vice President is prone to say, Go Fuck Yourself!

How's that for a plan asshole!


At 1/27/2006 04:41:00 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Maybe we ought to get everyone who wants to help, everyone who is concerned about New Orleans, and Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama together, rebuild it all better than before without their help.... and then secede, and take back all the Louisiana territory!.

Joking of course, but your empassioned entry stirs one to take action Schroeder! You are of course, 100% correct, and the description of him leaning back and waiting for a solution to fall into his lap is on-the-spot. THAT is what bothers me about him I finally realize. It's the arrogant frat boy "everything will be just fine so long as I dont worry too much" attitude he has. THAT is what that smirk on his face is about. It's not a nervous twitch (which it really ought to be), it's just arrogance.

At 1/27/2006 07:51:00 AM, Anonymous Lenny Zimmermann said...

I still say we should just secede from the Union, declare War on the United State, fire a few shots from some of those old cannons we have lying around to fly across our new border, you know just to make it look good not to actually hit anything, then surrender and apply for foreign aid. We'd sure get a shitload more from the Feds that way.

Barring that maybe we should say screw the Feds and revolt just so we can do exactly what you've suggested. When all is said and done why aren't we looking at the Federal Government, seeing how much they take away from us and then very seriously say "What have you done for us lately?"

At 1/27/2006 07:58:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound angry, Schroeder...

With damn good reason, of course.

The smirking chimp is evil, and the idea to secede is actually a pretty good one!


At 1/27/2006 08:50:00 AM, Blogger Nabil said...

I've been hinting at secession myself for several months now, and I still maintain that if sufficient federal relief hasn't been allocated by the summer we should organize a petition drive to put a secession referendum on the ballot for November 2006.

At 1/27/2006 09:24:00 AM, Blogger Tara said...

I can feel the heat rising off of this post, and I am 350 miles up the road!!! Right on, friend!

I like the secession ideas. It seems like the best way to get govt. aid in this country these days is to be a foreign country.

Bush's ability to back peddle on and/or ignore his own committments is amazing. He should be nominated for the Guiness Book of World Records as most fraudulent president in history...and as president who most resembles a chimp.

Be well.


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